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The name’s Tanner, but you can call me the Noodleologist (my lawyer wouldn’t let me call myself the Ramenatrix). I’m a Mass Communication major/Computer Science minor, in hopes that I might one day be a passionate indie filmmaker by day and a soulless corporate billionaire by night. So why “Noodleologist” you ask? Allow me to explain.
The Noodleologist in his natural habitat.
Ramen noodles are widely regarded as the chief cornerstone of an average college student’s diet. As a zealous worshipper of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it is my belief that these beautiful noodles ought to be viewed not only as a cheap commodity, but also as a blank canvas. Through the careful study of these glorious strings of sustenance, I have discovered that there is an entirely untapped scientific field related to the almighty noodle. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Noodleology 101.
Jansson, Arne Niklas. “Touched by His Noodly Appendage”
My sole purpose on this earth is to divulge the secrets necessary to turn what may merely appear to be a drab chunk of Justin Timberlake’s hair into a culinary masterpiece. Eating well shouldn’t be an activity that breaks the bank, and I want to show you how to make delicious homemade ramen meals with fresh ingredients that will blow your mind without blowing that fat stack of cash you’re saving to buy a miniature horse. So without any further ado, let the teachings begin!
*NSYNC circa 2000
TIME TO GET LIT OR WHATEVER (DEPENDING ON WHAT KIND OF STOVE YOU HAVE)
Today’s lesson in the art of Noodleology contains two simple yet amazing recipes that can each be made in under half an hour but will feed you for days. The best part? The ingredients for BOTH of these delicious dishes can be purchased for less than twenty bucks! Enough with the chit-chat though, let’s get cooking.
The first meal we’ll be making is a scrumptious egg-drop soup. If you’ve ever had egg-drop before you’ll probably remember it as the light appetizer before your main course of Kung Pao chicken, but don’t let your memories fool you! The addition of some noodles and a few fresh veggies make this soup a full on entrée that will likely leave you with leftovers galore. Let’s get started.
What you’ll need:
A medium size saucepan
4 cups water
2 packages chicken ramen noodles
4 eggs, beaten
½ cup diced onion
½ cup diced celery
In your saucepan, bring the water to a boil over high heat. Dissolve both seasoning packets and add the eggs, stirring them constantly until fully cooked. This shouldn’t take more than a few seconds, so add the vegetables soon after. Mix well, and reduce heat to medium. Let simmer 5 minutes, then add the noodles and cook for 3-5 minutes more or until noodles are tender. This should render 2-4 servings. Enjoy!
Our next dish is a creamy Alfredo. For as easy this pasta is to make, it tastes pretty dang incredible. I made it with shrimp, but for all you vegetarians out there, fear not. This recipe is (almost) as amazing with no meat whatsoever! Ready?
What you’ll need:
A medium size saucepan
2 packages ramen noodles, any flavor
1 cup (a stick) of butter
1 cup heavy cream
2 cups freshly grated Parmesan cheese
2 teaspoons garlic salt
2 cups cooked, tail-off shrimp (optional)
Italian seasoning, to taste
Pepper, to taste
Cook noodles in water according to package directions. Then, in your saucepan, heat butter and cream over low heat until butter is melted. Stir in the cheese until the mixture has an even consistency, then add remaining ingredients. Simmer sauce for 5 minutes, then serve over warm noodles. Makes 2-4 servings.
Now that you’re undoubtedly cradling your precious food-baby named Stefano, I’ll let you in on a little secret that might make your future ramen-capades a bit simpler. If you don’t have the patience to boil your noodles like you’re supposed to, then look no further than the Rapid Ramen Cooker! This nifty little device is BPA free with heat resistant handles, and it’s perfectly shaped to cook your ramen noodles. All you have to do is fill to the line with water and microwave for three minutes. Order one here for only $6.99!
